My Mom thinks I Sold My Soul for Rock ‘N’ Roll

We all know that rock music is pretty awesome, right? I hope so. If not, you live in a sad, sad world trapped under an entirely different kind of rock. Poor soul.

I went to my first rock concert with my daddy when I was fourteen. Def Leppard. And it was friggin’ sweet. One of the things that was really great was that even though my mom didn’t approve and tried to stop me from going, she didn’t succeed, and I came back with a t-shirt.

The next day, of course, I got lectured about the evils of rock music. Because I was proudly wearing my new shirt (with the Hysteria logo on the front).

Def Leppard: Hysteria

Freaky, right?

We got in quite the argument over my evil music and evil shirt, but this time, I wasn’t about to be sorry. She was the one who let me go. This scuffle got to quite a high point. My mother grabbed me by the collar, pulling me up to her.

Of course, I was terrified, but I wasn’t about to show that. Instead, I just grinned at her. She muttered something about me looking so proud of myself, and walked away.

My first point in the game.

She’s tried to “lose” that shirt in the laundry, but I’ve always made sure to find it again. After all, she already lost my dad’s vintage shirt with the same logo. I wasn’t about to let her lose mine.

And since then, yes, I’ve been to other concerts, slowly getting heavier and heavier, and I’ve gotten t-shirts from most of them. And oh, how I love them! I shove it in the face of my mother and aunt at every opportunity. I am the devil child. I wear black, though it is depressing to those two, band t-shirts, and eyeliner. HORROR!

I went to a rock festival a few months ago, and had the time of my life, bringing my sister who’d never been to a real rock concert before. I like to think it was really good for both of us.

I can’t even begin to describe the feeling a rock concert gives me. Such freedom from the stifling, stuffy childhood I had. Not just that, but everything. It’s nice to just stop worrying, for once, and lose yourself in the energy of the crowd.

When you imagine a typical teenage rebellious stage, you imagine black, piercings and screeching rock, right? Not me. My rebellion was around ten or eleven. It’s called country music. One of the quickest ways to piss off my Daddy.

Most people I meet often find something to like about my taste of music. Particularly my current coworkers, who seem so shocked to hear me listening to classic rock and metal. I tell them the same thing every time—my dad raised me right!


Father Poppa Daddy

I’ve posted repeatedly about three fourths of my family. But, I realized that I’ve never really written much about my dad. I’m too busy complaining about the other two.

My dad is an awesome guy. He’s put up with my mom’s crap for twenty three years. And he managed to make sure that I didn’t go totally insane.

When I was home schooled, he taught me and my sister more than our mother ever did. While Mom had us reading Amish primers, Dad was getting me hooked on DraculaHarry Potter, and Lord of the Rings. All of which my dear mother considered evil. While she neglected our education all day long, Dad would come home and ask us geography questions. It’s thanks to him that I managed to pass my high school geography class with a B+ without doing most of the homework, and get 100% on all the tests without studying.

While Mom was always the one restricting us and telling us what we couldn’t do because it wasn’t appropriate, Dad was the laid back one who could be firm if we got out of line, but generally allowed us to be who we wanted to be. He taught me about Christmas lights and computers, geography and science, music and books. That living in a hoarder’s house isn’t normal. Most importantly, he’s taught me that humor is an important part of life.

Every one of my friends who meets my parents share an opinion—my mom is scary and crazy. My dad is really cool. He’s the funny old guy who tells all the jokes, and is unfailingly generous.

Of course, Dad isn’t perfect. He’s terrifying when he’s angry. He’s a highly conservative homophobe. He gets road rage. But I’m incredibly grateful for him.

Without him, I know I wouldn’t have turned out so well. In fact, I’m pretty sure I would have become a sociopath. All seriousness and none of that sarcastic and very witty sense of humor. No androgynous qualities in sight. A proper lady who wears dresses and sits up straight and speaks when spoken to—and becomes a serial killer. Or who, conversely, is a victim all her life.

Thanks to Daddy, I’m better than that.

Family: isn’t it about. . . frustration? A Message from the Dysfunctional side of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

Sometimes, I just want to scream. And sometimes, I do. Surprising, right?

My dad’s fed up with my mom (can’t say I blame him). After twenty-three years, he’s finally talking about leaving her, and I support him fully. But we’re Mormons, so divorce is anywhere near natural for us, when we’re taught that “Families are Forever.” This isn’t the doctrine for those of us who really don’t want to spend eternity with some of our family members, though. Second, my dad’s already been through one divorce, and he never wants to do it again. Can’t say I blame him.

But on the other hand is my mother, who won’t ever admit there’s anything wrong with her. She’s gone to counseling, but stopped because she didn’t like the counselor. That’s not the type of person you can get to admit they have a problem. We want to get the house cleaned up, but she won’t allow it. To put it mildly, she’s a very difficult person to live with.

And then you have my sister, who was stupid enough to get herself arrested for domestic violence. Ordinary people know that you don’t go after a sibling with scissors! She and I are both still dependents of my dad, but she’s righteous and I’m a leech, apparently. And then, what really annoys me, she has the NERVE to tie my dad up in a phone conversation when I’m trying to talk to him about Mom! Seriously!

Yeah, I know it’s impractical to be mad at her when she doesn’t know what’s going on (because someone was dumb, got herself arrested, and can’t legally be around her ‘victim’ right now). Latent hostility bubbles forth, I guess.

Maybe it’s also because whenever I’m at home and one of my parents is on the phone with my sister, I feel unwelcome. Unwanted, even. Like the un-favorite. Because they’re always so happy when they’re talking to her. Laughing, making plans. Then I (forgive my language) get to deal with all the shit. I wish I could talk to my sister too—I wish I could be laughing and happy and making plans, even though I know the phone won’t get passed to me. I wish I could be the one living with a happy, functional family and having adventures. I wish I could refuse to come home.

But I can’t. I’m the one who’s gotta be the chauffeur when Daddy has surgery. I’m the one who’s gotta help out. I’m the one who’s catching all the flack. The one sleeping on a board, serenaded by a symphony of flies and mice accompanied by the soothing smell of mold, cooking everything in a barely-functioning microwave, and all that fun stuff. Sheesh, why couldn’t I be arrested? Oh, yeah. Because I don’t have any friends who’d take me in.

Damn, that’s depressing.