A Step Away From Anonymity (Because I’m Bored)

I feel brave today, and bored, too. So I’ll share some less-than-anonymous facts about myself. Wahoo.

  1. My name is Kayla (actually Michaela/Makayla/Mckayla, or one of a thousand other spellings, but I’m not that brave). Mac is a derivative that has never been applied to me, but I like it, and have therefore attempted to apply it.
  2. I turned 22 in February.
  3. I live in Utah (surprise, surprise)—have my entire life.
  4. My hair is naturally blond and curly, and it’s a pain in the neck, but people always compliment it.
  5. My initials really are MCP (like the Master Control Program from Tron).
  6. I’ve been told I’m beautiful many times, but most of the guys who said this to me turned out to be creeps or jerks or both, so I have a lot of self-esteem issues about it.
  7. I have two cats. Captain Hook and Rinna (who I call Moe).
  8. I’ve never weighed more than 150 pounds.

“I’m a writer, not a talker.”

That quote was something I said when talking to a friend, Scott, and I got my words messed up. Since then, he’s said I should put it on a t-shirt. Not gonna, but it gives me something to pretend is original and creative enough for a blog title.

This blog is more for myself than anyone else. To pull myself together in my little corner of the world, protected by the thin shield of my anonymity. And, of course, to voice my views where I feel safe, where I feel I can’t be judged by friends and family.

We all have things we want to say, I think, that we won’t because we feel we’ll be judged by everyone else. I can’t just tell everyone on Facebook that my mommy’s a hoarder and that my sister was arrested for domestic violence against me. I can’t tell them about how I’ve spent so much time second-guessing myself, doubting my own perceptions. I can’t tell the girls to shut up when they say terrible things about men. Maybe some people have the guts for that, but not me.

What I’ve learned about my friends and family–they want to hear the good stuff. The things that will cheer them up and make them laugh. And I can’t blame them. I get annoyed when my friends post on Facebook about how bad their lives are, how much breaking up with their boyfriend sucks. So, I post about the sunshine and daisies which grace that great maze we call life. The bed of roses, not the thorns.┬áBut the thorns are there. Sometimes, they just press into you until you can’t take it anymore. You feel the need to say something. That is what this blog is for. To tell about my experiences, and maybe help someone else get through theirs.

I’m just out to save the world. Is that too much to ask?