Defensive Measures

Ah, life. The great tragic comedy.

As per my usual introspective complaining, I have trust issues. I just don’t trust people. I’m scared they’re talking about me behind my back. In relationships, I feel like the guy’s just waiting for the right moment to say it was a joke. I don’t tell my friends about my personal life, because I’m afraid of being the whiny little crybaby again. So, I toughened up. I worked at a haunted house, where I learned to put on a pretty good Mormon goth persona. When people at school annoyed me, I let them know it, and never talked to them unless they talked to me first. If they ever were stupid enough to enter into my personal bubble, they knew it.

I was a snot.

Somehow, though, the most annoying guy in my graduating class, Scott, befriended me. He didn’t annoy me as much as he did everyone else, for some reason. But after high school, we started talking more, went on a few dates, etc. Now, he’s “in love” with me, like a brother to me, and WAY too close for comfort. He knows things about me that I’ve never told anyone else, and he pisses me off like no other. He knows me beyond the act, and laughs at things that are deadly serious to me. If he ever decided to try something, I wouldn’t be able to stop him, because, skinny as he is, he’s still stronger than me. That’s terrifying.

And I can’t get the idiot to stop being “in love” with me, no matter how hard I try.

What’s most annoying is that I promised I wouldn’t stop talking to him, otherwise I would’ve gotten him out of my life a long time ago. Unfortunately, I seem to be a woman of my word. So, instead I get to listen while he talks about his exploits with other girls (why he tells me, I don’t know), and talks about how hard his life is, and how many temptations he has to go through, etc, etc, etc. I mean, I’m trying to help him be a better person, but he’s dragging me down in the process.

And he’s too freaking close. He knows too much, and I can’t get away from him. A part of me’s sure it’s my sister all over again.


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